I would drown my beliefs, to have you be in peace.
by Foreman Grillwalker
Summary: [Finished] My first attempt at L/J.


A/N: Yet another one of those infamous L/J love/hate fics. Since I read one that I liked a lot, I thought I would try my hand at one. :)  
  
With one more month left in school Lily was getting nervous. She would be eighteen, on her own, without a clue as to what she wanted to do. She had always liked singing and was quite good at it, but she couldn't make a career out of that... Her mother wanted her to do something with animals. Lily loved animals too. She was looking into a career in magical creature care and it did look promising...But either way, she wasn't going anywhere unless she passed the upcoming NEWTS. She had two more days until the test was to be administered and to say the least she was nervous. Over the past few months she had been struggling to keep the top grade in her class, but someone was too close, even surpassed it once but she got it back. James Potter needed to understand that, this rank was all Lily had going for her right now. Not that school hadn't been fun. She had a blast with her friends. She was just very shy so she never really had a large group of friends. Soon she would be leaving and her few friends would leave too. She didn't want to go back home. Her sister made her life hell before she found out she was witch and after that fateful day that Lily had received her acceptance letter, Petunia had taken to disowning her whenever she could and when she absolutely had to speak to her she acted like Lily was diseased. Yah, it hurt, but she was used to it now and she had decided that she would not go back home.   
  
Lily's thoughts were interrupted soon enough when Professor McGonagall had asked her a question. "Well, Miss Evans?" Uh-oh. Everyone was waiting for her answer. "They never pay this much attention when someone else is answering," she thought, but she had forgotten that it always feels like that when you are the one who gets called. Lily searched around for a helpful face. Thank god, Aidan Finnigan was trying to lip her the answer. It looked like he was saying "They do." So she repeated this to McGonagall. This seemed to satisfy her and she continued with her lesson. Lily mouthed thanks to Aidan and he nodded.   
  
Now, Lily wasn't an ugly girl. Not in the least. But she had a tendency to buy robes and all clothing that was just too big. She hid her face behind thick-framed glasses. She didn't even need them that much, mostly when she read, but she felt safer behind them. Like, no one will care to look at her or make fun if she isn't that noticeable. This was impossible to accomplish due to the fact that her fiery red hair made her eye-catching in any crowd. But for the most part, no one bothered Lily. She was smart, she was pretty, despite how much she tried to hide and she was friendly. Well, with one exception. Since she had started in this school one boy has had a problem with her. The same who was competing for her rank. James was pretty much opposite of a lot of Lily's characteristics. He was outgoing, had a bunch of friends, and he fit his clothing. Though they had a lot in common too, they never were able to find that out since they were never friends. This was the one exception. She was not friendly to James Potter, with good reason though.  
  
About a month after she had started her first year, James had his first interaction with Lily. Now she had heard all of the red-head jokes and he couldn't exactly call her four eyes since he too sported glasses. But this was just kind of mean. James was sitting with his new best friends, with whom he had grown very close. They were Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Peter Pettigrew, who would eventually become the fourth wheel for the remainder of their Hogwart's years, was bugging them. Lily was sitting with Aidan Finnigan, who would also become her best friend in years to come. He was a shy Irish boy with far too many freckles to count. Since they were both so quiet they found each other quickly. In the seat next to him was a tall brunette girl by the name of Shannon Diggory. She had a brother who was two years older, but he and his quidditch buddies only teased her. Anyway, they sat across the room from James and his group. Sirius was pointing in their general direction and since, there would be no reason for it to be at Lily she payed no attention. Then suddenly there was a loud smoosh sound and everyone turned in Lily's direction. Since there weren't too many people there to see it and those who did knew Lily and had nothing against her there were only a few people who were laughing. This included Sirius, James and Amos Diggory, Shannon's brother. Remus didn't even know what was happening. He was playing chess with Peter and whipping him good. Lily was covered in some sort of mud concoction. It was in her hair, on her face and her robes. She didn't know what else to do so she went over there. "What the hell have I ever done to you?" She tried to hold back the tears but her voice wasn't too stable. This is where James showed what a nice guy he was. "Well, nothing. We were just bored and your hair made you and easy target. I mean come on now, you're a walking bullseye!!" At this both boys were laughing hysterically and Lily rushed to her dorm to change and hide the tears that were coming down her cheek.  
  
You might say seven years is a long time to hold a grudge, but there was no instance in those seven years where James had even tried to apologize, let alone even talk to her. It wasn't completely his fault though because he was always busy. Mr. Popularity, Quidditch Captain since third year, Prefect and headboy this year. So the years passed with the occasional "excuse me" or "pass me that book would you?" and that was it. They learned how to coexist. Lily put her grudge away and never thought about him. James on the other hand was aware of his loss the moment he had thrown the mudbubble. He felt immediately guilty but kept the nonchalant attitude to impress Sirius. Being the stubborn person he is, he never apologized even though he wanted to dearly. If he came close he would tell himself that he didn't have time. This kept them apart for seven years.  
  
Back to the classroom. Lily was brought out of her trance as McGonagall slammed a book on her desk and half-yelled the word "NEWTs!" After she saw she had full attention, she continued, "You all have one more class left to ask me anything you haven't perfected since you started this course, seven long years ago. I suggest you look over your book. Now, Headmaster Dumbledore has informed me that there will be an annual graduation dance. It is formal and the headboy and girl are to see me after class. Thank you." And with that , they were dismissed.   
  
Lily groaned slightly as she realized she had to stay after, with him and dragged her feet up to McGonagall's podium. James was still in his desk snoozing placidly. "Mr. Potter! If you would be so kind as to at least pay attention to me now. I promise, there is nothing to do with Transfiguration in what I'm going to say." With that he got up and walked over to her. "Well, I just thought I would let you two know that the head boy and girl are required to attend whether or not they want to." With this she glanced at Lily since she had avoided every formal dance that had taken place during her school years. Lily nodded and slightly blushed at this realization. "I've known you both for two years and I've never even see you two speak so this part could be a little bit harder to swallow. The dance does not commence until the Head Boy and Girl enter together and have the first dance. There is no arguing with it because this has been traditional since these dances started. I'm sure you two could endure one dance. We've had different houses as Head Children and even when there was a Griffyndor boy and a Slytherin girl, they fulfilled their duty. It's just one dance. I do hope, both of you know how to dance?" She looked over at James , then Lily. Lily nodded and James said yes. Lily was quite a good dancer. No one knew that here, but back at home, on Christmas break she would go to her parents' parties and dance all night. "Good, I'm glad. Now then, I'm sure you two can't wait to get to dinner." They took the hint and departed.  
  
Walking down the hallway, all Lily could think was why she had to be the one. Why did she have to dance with him? Things were going fine for the past six years. He didn't talk to her, she didn't talk to him, all was right with the world. Now she had to dance with him? James, on the other hand, was thinking differently. This would be his chance. He would tell her he was so sorry for doing that to her and that he was sorry for not apologizing earlier and that he was sorry for not being able to get to know her. She was walking ahead of him and he decided he would catch up and see what he would have to deal with.  
  
"Hey there, Lily. What's up?" He smiled at her but this seemed like he was being smug to her so she answered a little on the mean side. "Nothing, you gonna bomb me at the dance too?" She instantly thought that this sounded a little more tart than she had planned. "O, I was hoping maybe you didn't remember that. I meant to apologize. I really did, but I never really talk to you that much and I'm always so busy..." Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm not one to care too much, but I still think that was pretty mean." She started to quicken her pace so she would lose him but he just kept on going. "But um, anyway, I was wondering since, we have to, you know, dance together and everything, maybe we should go together too. What do you think?" At this, Lily stopped dead in her tracks. "What do I think?" She repeated. 'I think that you and I have never, in seven years of school together, had anything more to say than excuse me. I think that this is all really just some sort of joke to you, just like everything else. And I also think that, no doubt, you are scheming something to do to me while we are at the dance which is why you want me to go with you. So James, dear, I'm going to have to decline that offer." With that, she picked up where she had left off and James was left to wallow in self-pity until his stomach told him to go to dinner.  
  
When he arrived at the Gryffindor table, he sat in his usual seat next to his best friends, Sirius and Remus, and across from Peter. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but when he sat down he noticed that Sirius had an odd look on his face. "Sirius, anything the matter?" James asked through a mouth full of food. "Yes, well, dear prongs, not so much for me, but from what I hear, you are having a little trouble." A wink and a half smile accompanied this last sentence by Sirius. "We will discuss this later, padfoot. Pass me the pumpkin juice." And that was the end of the conversation over there. Just as you might be wondering what Lily was talking about with her friends, James did the same. When he looked over to her usual place, he discovered that she wasn't there. Where was she?  
  
Back in the seventh year girls dorms Lily sat with her long time friend Shannon Diggory and they analyzed the whole scene thoroughly. "So he said he was sorry, and asked you if you wanted to go with him? O yah Lil, it sounds like he's out to get you." Shannon joked. "Shannon, seriously, think about it. He doesn't say a word to me for seven years and then he just all of the sudden apologizes and asks me to the dance. There's something going on there." A small laugh escaped Shannon's mouth. "Lily, maybe he's just trying to make it more bearable at the dance. You know, clear things up so you guys can at least act civil." Lily wasn't one to be persuaded so easily though. She just sat in contemplation for a while and then started on her charms homework.  
  
When people heard the name 'James Potter' the thoughts would vary from person to person. Some would think, smart, strong, and great at quidditch. Others would say charming, cute, modest. This is really what bugged Lily. Why would he want to go with her? She was none of those things and he could have any girl he wanted basically. Why else would he want to go with her other than to humiliate her again. Since Lily was who she was, she decided to ask him herself and get a straight answer. She made this decision the next morning when she woke up. She would just wait until History of Magic and ask him then....  
  
A meal, two classes, and a whole lot of yawns and notes later, she finally caught up with James on the way to History of Magic. "Hey, James, I want to ask you something and I want a straight, honest to goodness answer alright?" A dreary feeling came over James but he agreed anyway. "Seriously, why did you ask me to the dance? I want a truthful answer, not some cock and bull 'water-under-the-bridge' rubbish." Lily's steadfast gaze did not falter even thought the thought of her being a bit harsh crossed her mind. "Well, um, can we talk about it later? It's kinda, hard to explain and it takes a little while." James was looking rather rushed and it seemed, rather flushed as well. "Yeah, I guess so. Around when?" Still staring at him intently, his blush increased a little. "Um, how about around...six. In the common room?" With that he rushed ahead to join Sirius. This created a little bit of a problem though. "Smart, cute and straight forward, eh James? What more could one ask for? O yah! Easy! Too bad, she would have been perfect." Sirius was the only one of his three best friends that knew James had liked Lily since the first year. "No, Sirius, I think you have my thoughts mixed in with yours." James retorted. "O yes, gallant, gentlemanly James, you would have left that last one out huh?" Sirius winked. Though he was quite the looker and had girls hanging on him most of the time he was awake, Sirius deep down really wished he could find a girl like Lily as well. Not just for the things that are said about redheads... "You know what they say about redheads..." he nudged James in the arm, but James didn't appreciate the comment in the least. "Man, you know it's not like that at all. We're just gonna drop this subject before we're late." With that they both entered the class and sat in there usual seats.   
  
After that less than enlightening class was lunch. Things went rather normally with the occasional glance from Sirius toward Lily's direction. She paid no mind though, as she and her friends were stressing over the NEWTS coming up the very next day. Lily had been studying harder than she thought she could the past two days and she was now getting quite nervous. She drudged her way through a double potions (it never really was her subject) and finally got to the best class of the day (in her opinion); Care of Magical Creatures. The teacher, Mr. Aslan, was a very knowledgable man who, somehow, commanded respect from every animal he had ever brought to the class. Today, they were going over any last minute things, they forgot, or never paid attention to. Lily was very intently scribbling notes as Mr. Aslan was explaining things. When the lesson ended, she didn't even realize that she would have to talk to James in a little while, so she walked back to the castle alone, still scribbling absentmindedly, and humming. That is until she bumped into someone. "O I'm terribly sorry. I didn't even see you there." She began but when she saw it was Sirius she only said "Oh." And moved on. "What, you don't have time to talk to me? I'm hurt." A fake pout played on Sirius' lips as he walked beside her. Lily didn't answer. "You know, you have a marvelous voice. I don't know why I've never heard it before." She mumbled thanks but continued to walk. "Hey, maybe it's because we have never talked to each other in ... seven years. Wow, I think that could be it. Why didn't we ever converse now? O yes, it was because James threw that mudbubble at you. Ah yes, maybe that's why." He smiled. Though he was a good guy at heart, Sirius loved to cause trouble. He, in fact, was the one who dared James to do it. "You know, just because James, is a git doesn't mean we can't talk now does it?" He flashed her a bread-winning smile but she didn't even look up when she told him this. "Sirius, it's not like I've been living in a whole for the last seven years. I know that you are a hustler, so to speak. Now, let me save you the trouble and tell you straight out. I'm not easy, and there is no chance that you will ever get into my pants. James may be a git, but you, my dear Sirius, are a bloody idiot." And she passed through the entrance up to the Gryffindor common room and from there straight to her room.   
  
Sirius was a bit taken aback, but the rejection was expected. He didn't think it would be that blunt though. He then went in search of an attainable "conquest." Lily brooded over that for a little while and completely forgot about James and meeting him. She changed into her pajamas and was sitting with all of her transfiguration books (her first exam tomorrow) covering her bed. All of her notes from all seven years, all of her school books and books she had bought to help her with her school work and she was diligently studying. It was quite easy, since half of the school was in the library and all of her room mates were either there or in the common room.   
  
After a period of time, there came a knock on the dorm door. "Come in." She said between the pencil in her teeth. She never looked up to see who it was. "Hi, um, you never came down. I was wondering where you might've been." It was James. "Hmm? O right! I completely forgot. Your charming friend Sirius got me a little sidetracked, what with him trying to chat me up and all. Either way, I'm sorry. O my! That was so hard. An apology! I don't think I'll live through that ever again." She imitated a faint, and sat back up. He grinned sheepishly at her. "Yah, about that. See, I think you should know how that whole thing started. I look back and think of what a dolt I was. It was rather mean of me." And so he went into the whole thing about Sirius daring him and how he just wanted to look cool. "So, because he dared you, it took you this long to apologize?" Lily asked, though not as harshly as she was earlier in the day. "It took me this long because, I'm stubborn. I hate apologies in general. I would always tell myself I was too busy. I know, I shouldn't have waited this long, and believe me, I wish I hadn't. From what I hear, people tend to enjoy your company. That is, if they're on your good side." He smiled.   
  
She just sat there for a while. "Well, I suppose I could forgive you. I mean, it's not such a big deal to me anymore." A wave of relief washed over James and he didn't even realize what he was saying. "Thanks, I'm so glad. That's been hanging over my head since it happened. So do you think we could go to the dance together? I promise I won't do anything to you." Lily caught herself before she could think he had a nice smile and answered him guardedly. "See, that is what boggles my mind. There's no reason for you to ask. You apologized. I accepted. That should be enough for you. If you feel like you have to repay me or something like that, it's ok. I mean, you have almost every girl in this school at your disposal. I figure, we just go, dance and that's it. Part on good terms, you know?" This had been the first time she had ever spoken to him amiably and he wasn't used to it. "Well, I figured differently. I thought maybe we could even, leave on a , dare I say, friendly note? I think we would have fun. Come on, what do you say then?" He was trying desperately to convince her without telling her why he wanted so badly to go with her. "I'm warning you now, if Sirius makes one more advance on me before, or during this dance, it's off. I'll make like a priest and get the hell out of there." He smiled broadly at her acceptance. "That's great. It's a deal. I'll keep him off your back and I'll see you there. I should be off now. Good luck on your NEWTS tomorrow." And with that he left.  
  
After leaving McGonagall's class, all of the Gryffindor seventh years looked like they had sat in there with dementors. The color had drained from their faces and they all looked exhausted. Aiden came out with Lily, holding three books in his hands and four scrolls of parchment. She had nothing in her hands except a quill and inkbottle. Her motto was, why bring anything you don't need. You should've learned it all by then and ten extra minutes wasn't going to help. "How do you think you fared that storm?" Aiden began. "Well, I know I am utterly relieved that it's finally over." Lily breather a deep sigh and smiled. "I don't think I did too bad. I'm sure I passed, but that was a tough one." Aiden rolled his eyes at this. "Lily, you know you got the best marks. That's how it works. You always say it was a tough test, and you always come out on top. So I hear you have to commence the graduation dance with none other than, Mr. James Potter." He teased, but continued. "Look, it won't be so bad. I'll keep my eye out for any mudbubbles, though I dare say that's a bit childish now, isn't it. Anyway, I was thinking of asking Shannon to the dance. Do you think she would say yes?" They talked about this for a while until they reached the great hall. Since they only had two exams a day that were about four hours long, they went to get some nourishment before the Charms exam.  
  
Aiden sat next to Shannon today leaving a seat next to Lily open, but she didn't mind. She had another hour before the charms exam and she was still trying to memorize some spells. They weren't exactly in the text, but she didn't want to take any chances. She glanced up once and found Shannon and Aiden talking rather intensely about something. She smiled and looked back to her book. Someone came and sat down in Aiden's usual seat but she paid no attention. Aiden and Shannon seemed to though because they just stopped talking. That is what got Lily's attention. She looked up, "Why is everyone so quiet all of the sudden?" She stopped when she found her answer. James looked at her with a large grin on his face. "Hello, there. Don't mind me. I just wanted to get some studying done before charms and Sirius and Remus are acting daft." Aiden and Shannon knew better than to except that as an answer, but they took it more like a hint. "Hey, Lil, Aiden left some books up in the common room, so I'm just gonna go with him to get them. I'll see you in Flitwick's." And with that Lily was left to her studies...almost. "So, how do you think you did on McGonagall's?" James offered to strike up a conversation. "I think I did rather well. That is to say I'm fairly certain I passed." She said with a slight laugh. "That's good. I'm glad to here. Myself, I think I did alright. It was quite tough though wasn't it?" Lily nodded at this but was more rapt in her studies. James looked over her shoulder at the parchment she was looking over. "I don't remember studying any of this. Did I miss a whole section." A slight look of panic crossed his features as she turned in answer. "No, this wasn't in our text. It was in one of the books that I bought to help me. Sort of like a study guide. I just want to make sure he doesn't spring any of this on us by surprise or anything." James started to laugh a little but stifled it. "You mean to tell me, you're studying for things that aren't even in our text, let alone the fact that they weren't even mentioned in class. Lily, you need to calm down a little. I really doubt that Flitwick would do something like that." She didn't reply though. "I meant to ask you, what color robes are you wearing? I need to get an idea for the corsage and all." Lily looked up a bit startled. "Corsage? What would you need that for?" The whole prospect of going to a formal dance with a formal date was foreign to Lily and she didn't seem to understand the purpose of a corsage. "Well, that is usually how it works right? I mean, the guy gets his date a corsage. You ever been to a dance? O no, don't tell me, you can't even dance. Am I right?" She just looked at him indifferently. "James, I assure you that I won't embarrass you. I can dance to an extent so, as long as you keep it rather simple, we should be fine. I don't know what you're so worried about. I've been to plenty of dances, granted none at this school, but I know how to dance. As for the corsage deal, I never really thought it so important. I guess you can get one if you want, but I would rather you didn't waste your money." She went back to her studies. "So, what color are they?" James persisted. When he found they were baby blue, he told her he had to leave.   
  
The next exam was a great deal easier than the Transfiguration one. Many students felt they had a chance of a good grade in charms after they had left. Lily and Shannon and Aiden made their way from the class with high spirits. Lily's next exam was to be Care of Magical Creatures so she didn't even need to study for it. She felt confident she had everything down. So she spent the rest of the night studying for her potions exam which was after CMC.   
  
The next few days went by in a blur since so many hours were spent testing. No one really gathered socially during that week, only for study sessions. As the last exam approached, Lily grew more and more impatient and nervous. She still had no idea what she wanted to do, but she couldn't wait until the end of the year. She would be free but she would also be...free. Feeling doubtful in her life after school and of her last exam (Arithromency), she entered the class solemnly and got through with her test quickly. She wasn't sure if that was a good sign though, as everyone else took about an hour longer. She just waited, thinking about how lost she was. The two things she really enjoyed, she could make no real living off of. She thought maybe she would go to university, but she wasn't sure what she wanted to be her primary course of study. She could always get into the ministry...But that would never work, since she hated desk jobs. She wanted to be out and about, see the world, do what she loved and not have to worry about bills. Bills...cooking...cleaning...doing all of these things for herself would be odd. She had quite some time to think and eventually the subject came to the upcoming dance. It was only a week away and she still hadn't had her robes tailored. She would just do it this weekend in Hogsmeade. As far as she was concerned, they needed to be let out a little bit. They fit her much too well. She wasn't used to clothes fitting her and it made her feel as if they were too tight, though Shannon assured her that they looked great. After what seemed like hours later, they were dismissed. The whole school was so relieved. The NEWTS, OWLS and all other exams were done. Everyone felt free.  
  
Lily made her way, with her robes, down to the robe shop on Main Street in Hogsmeade. Shannon and Aiden went down to the Three Broomsticks and told Lily that they would wait there for her. She walked in to find the place crawling with girls of the same age with the same idea apparently. As soon as she had taken in the scene, a clerk asked her rather hurriedly, "You got an appointment 'ear? We're only takin' appointments today. Too many girls, too little time. Sorry, dearie." With that the witch bustled past her and Lily was left in the dust. "Well, what the hell am I going to do now? I can't wear this." She brooded all the way to the pub and still after until she made it to the table Shannon and Aiden sat at.  
  
"Wow that was quick. I figured you would be there all day." Lily told them her dilemma and neither of them looked sympathetic. In fact, "Good, I'm glad. Your robes are always too large for you anyway. It's about time you showed off that body!" With that Aiden got a punch in the arm from Lily. "Come on now, I'm going to assume that you two are going out and say that you shouldn't have said that. If you aren't then, what's taking so bloody long? You like him, he likes you. Problem solved." Shannon gave a smile, "You're one to talk Mrs. Potter. I saw you two chatting rather amiably at lunch yesterday." Lily slightly blushed and only said, "well you know if your two best friends decide to go out and disappear for each meal, you tend to get less and less picky." "Sure..." was all either of her friends said to this and the subject changed. "Look we were going to go up to Zonko's when we finished." Aiden commented. "I'll not tag along thanks. I'm going to see what I can do about these robes. There has to be a charm or spell or something, that can make them...not so..." before she could finish Shannon did. "Well fitting? Get off it Lily, they look good and you know it. Just leave them be." They sat for a little while talking about the different tests and other things until they finished they're butterbeers. Then they all when they're separate ways. Lily back to the school, the other two down to the joke shop.  
  
As she walked down the road to the gates of Hogwart's she passed by Sirius, Remus and Peter. The first two smiled slyly as she walked. She just ignored it, but another thought popped into her head. Where was the fourth member of the maruaders? They're usually never seen apart. The thought vanished and she made her way to the common room.   
  
There she was met by Aiden's little sister Moira. She and Lily had become quite close since she had spent a few weeks each summer at the Finnigan's visiting. She grabbed Moira's hand, "Good, you can help me. I need your opinion. Come with me." Moira accompanied Lily up to the seventh year girls' dorm and waited as Lily put her robes on. "What do you think. Do they need to be tailored?" Moira looked her over carefully. "Well, they don't look that loose. I suppose you could bring it in an inch. I think you would be much more comfortable with it like that though. They look perfect." "I don't want them taken in. I want them taken out. I think they fit a little too well. They are too tight you know?" Moira looked at her quizzically. "Well, do they feel tight. I mean can you zip it up and all that?" "Yes, I can zip it up perfectly." Lily was a little frustrated that she would soon hear the same thing from Moira as she heard from her two other friends earlier. "What do you need them tailored for then? They look great on you. Just because you have a problem with clothes that fit, I mean really. You don't want to go there looking like you don't care. Beside, you want to knock your date off his feet right? I can't believe you're going with James Potter. What a knock-out. You would throw half the girls in the room out of the competition if you wore that the way it is. O and if you took off your glasses."  
  
"But I need my glasses." Lily protested. She was getting rather tired of wearing them and her eye condition was pretty much gone. The mediwizard even told her she didn't need them anymore unless she was flying or reading. Even in those situations, she could use a simple charm to clear her vision for six hours. "Lily for Merlin's sake, you know you don't need those anymore. You should stop wearing them. Otherwise you'll get accustomed to them and you will eventually need them." Because Moira made a pretty good point with that , she took her glasses off. "There, now you're gorgeous!" Moira exclaimed as she went over and broke Lily's glasses. "Moira, I do need them for reading! What you go and do that for?" Moira then started to play with Lily's mid-back length hair. She always had it down and never did anything different with it. "I think an up-do would suit you." Moira continued. They spent the rest of the day playing with Lily's hair and talking about shoes, nails, and all other girlie things that are discussed prior to a large dance or party.  
  
For the rest of the week Lily went without her glasses. No one really noticed except for a few people including Shannon, Aiden, Moira, and of course James and Sirius. In fact, they recognized the difference Sunday night after the Hogsmeade trip. She sat in the common room, reading one of her favorite books. She had really gotten into horror books and her favorite author had just put this one out. Aiden spotted it and got it for her the day before while he was still in Hogsmeade.   
  
Lily was quite contented for the first time since exams and she didn't wish to see anyone or do anything other than what she was at that moment. Of course, when as soon as one feels this way, it just so happens that something interrupts. "Well, hullo there. My name is Sirius Black. And who is this stunning beauty that I happen to be looking at right now." Lily looked up from her book rather annoyed. "You're daft, do you know that? Just let me be please." He grinned at her. "Why, Lily, Lily Evans? Is that you? Well, I wouldn't have guessed if I didn't get such a sour answer." He laughed a little. "How's this, Sirius, my dear, I would appreciate it so much if you would let me finish this book. You see, as engaging as a conversation with you is, I am rather into it, and I would hate not giving you my undivided attention." She smiled at him placatingly. "Now, see if you could just be like that all of the time then I would've chatted you up years ago." A flicker in his eyebrow. "That wasn't an invitation, darling, it was the most polite way I could tell you that I'm not in the mood for your antics. I am like that to most people. You've never been on that list though, so tah." And she went back to her room. It wasn't too long before she was interrupted again. A hand reached down to her shoulder from behind. "Look Sirius, I was really...um serious-o well isn't that funny-either way, I do want to finish this..." When she looked up she saw it wasn't Sirius at all. "Was he bothering you again? I told him to stay away. He doesn't listen though."   
  
James came around and sat down on the ottoman in front of her. "He actually, rather behaved himself... well, for Sirius anyway." They both laughed a little. "So what brings you over here?" Every time she looked at James, he would feel himself start to get a little warm. It was so much nicer to be able to talk to her, then just observe her from afar now. "I just wanted to say, congratulations, you know, with your glasses. Bet you must be glad to get rid of them. I know I would be." She smiled and before she could stop herself she told him what she was thinking. "Well, I think you look nice with your glasses. They fit your face I mean. They distinguish you from the rest of the pretty-boy jocks around here." Her face reddened slightly. She instantly regretted saying it. "Well, thank you. I'm glad to hear that. So you think I'm a pretty boy? Well, I must say I never thought that would come out of your mouth." He winked at her. "I was afraid you would catch that. Don't let it go to your head though." She said from behind her book. "I won't don't worry. Since we're sharing though, I've thought that about you for quite some time." He gazed at her somewhat intensely, for a moment and then broke away. "What are you doing tomorrow, after classes?" He asked. "I'm not quite sure. Since we haven't any work that matters now, I imagine I need to busy myself otherwise. Why?" Lily was racking her brain for an excuse. She couldn't let herself feel this way about him, and she needed to get out of spending any time with him. "I was actually going to just walk the grounds. Feel like joining me?" At the moment the question left his mouth, he felt, oddly nervous. James Potter shouldn't feel that way. He was, after all, James Potter. She was right, he could have any girl he wanted. But why did he want this one so badly?  
  
"Well, seeming as I can't quite think of anything else I'd be doing, I suppose so." James beamed at this. "Great, then. I'll let you get back to your book." With that he walked around the same way he had came and touched her shoulder as he passed. Lily scolded herself once he left. She shouldn't be going with him, yet she couldn't tell him no. A simple word. She started to think about the possibility of them ever having a relationship, but quickly dismissed it. She had to think about what she wanted to do with her life. Adding him into the equation just made things harder. She would leave at the end of the year and most likely never see him again. Yes, that was that.  
  
Though this was how she thought on Sunday night, that wasn't what she thought during the rest of the week. After classes from Monday to Friday, she would go on three or four-hour walks with him and they would just talk. Mainly about what they would do after they left school, their interests (which were surprisingly similar), friends, and family. This last subject was quite touchy for both of them. In their time enrolled here, it seems that the dark lord had claimed both of their parents' lives. Lily's was only last year, but she had gotten through it. Somehow, it was comforting that she could talk with someone who had been through a similar situation. This made a type of bond with him, that she could never have with Shannon or Aiden. Or maybe it was something else that made this feeling of closeness...  
  
By Friday, even Lily couldn't restrain herself from getting caught up in the girlie pre-dance rituals like, doing ones nails, plucking ones eyebrows, putting on some goopy mask or other to better ones complexion. At first it wasn't by choice. Shannon had dragged her away from a fairly profound conversation with James up to the dorm, and started plucking her eyebrows. Struggle as she could, Lily couldn't get out of Shannon's eerily strong grip. "Lily, make one false move and I will rip your whole eye brow off!!" Lily succumbed to the torture with the occasional comment. "They aren't that bad then, are they?" or, "Man alive, Shannon! Where did you get a bloody grip like that?" After a few minutes, she stepped back and viewed her work. "Well, they were fine, but now, they are perfect. Symmetrical, just the right arch. Perfect. Anyway, on with the nails then." Along with the other girls in the dorm Lily sat and watched at her nails suddenly grew and were given a French manicure with the tap of Shannon's wand. Shannon then did her own.   
  
The boys had quite a bit of time on their hands since they really didn't do any girlie pre-dance things. They mainly just sat there, playing chess and exploding snap. Eventually they went to change when they realized that they had half an hour.   
  
At that point in the day, all the girls had their faces painted and most were about to get dressed. Lily sat, in her blue robes, that fit her perfectly, as if someone had made them just for her. But she sat, rather uncomfortably, thinking that they showed too much, gave her curves she didn't really want people to see. She was slipping her shoes on when Shannon came and sat down. "So, what are you and Jamie-poo going to do after the dance?" She raised an eyebrow to Lily. "Well, I don't quite know. How about you and Aidenny...poo. O my, that doesn't go well at all does it? Either way, how about you too? Going up to the Astronomy tower no doubt? Gonna snog his face off are we?" Lily teased. But Shannon's only reaction was to blush a little and change the subject. "So, Lily my dear, I must say you look gorgeous. No way in bloody hell James won't notice you." Lily rolled her verdant eyes. "Shannon, dear, we are just going to dance, then I'm gonna spilt and he'll be free to carouse with Sirius." "Dear God, you mean you still don't see it? Really, you've spent hours a day with this guy. Do you think he would do that if he didn't like you? Come on Lil. Open those pretty green eyes, ay?" with that Shannon got up and walked over to the bathroom, which was infested with pre-dance girlie girls doing last minute touch ups. "Shannon did have a point..." Lily mused, but then, like all other thoughts of this nature, dismissed it as quickly as it had appeared.  
  
Soon enough the flock of giddy ladies made their way to the door, and suddenly, without a tap of anyone's wand, turned into stunning, elegant women. It was quite startling. Lily was with them, but had neither been a giddy girl nor an elegant woman. She was just ... Lily, only in a dress. She always thought that inadequate. She sighed and thought aloud, "Oh well, it'll have to do." She was out the door and on her way with the rest when she realized she had forgotten something. "I'll catch up," She explained and hurried as she could in heeled shoes, back to her room. She opened a little box from under her bed and took out a dainty gold chain with an exquisitely carved locket on it. It went perfectly with her dress and was just right. It was her mother's. She exited her room, not as quickly, but much more confidently with the necklace on. When she came down the stairs to the common room she saw that most everyone was gone. "Typical. Don't wait or anything." She thought of the girls who had dolled her up earlier.   
  
Waiting at the bottom of the stairs was a worried James. "She hasn't ever gone to a school function. I hope she doesn't ditch." His palms were sweaty, the box for the corsage was warm from their heat. Thoughts as such raced through his mind as he waited in a handsome ensemble by some famous designer or other. He had a flower pinned to his robes that matched the one in his hand. He looked up and caught his breath in a sharp breath. Someone, resembling the girl he was supposed to take to the dance, was coming down the stairs in the exact color dress as that girl he was to take. It couldn't be. But as she came closer, he saw that it was, in fact, Lily. He was speechless. She was gorgeous, and he was speechless. "Well, hello there handsome? Don't we look nice eh?" Lily winked and grinned. He smiled weakly at her. How could he be so lucky as to take her? He forced this thought away and took the corsage out of it's package. A slightly audible gasp came from Lily as she saw it. "James, it's beautiful. Lilies." She looked up at him with a smile that melted him. "I enchanted it to the color of your robes." He pinned it to her nervously, afraid that he would prick her, or perhaps even touch something he wasn't supposed to. But he got it on successfully.  
  
"Lily, you look, utterly breath taking." Immediately he thought it was too much. But she just smiled and blushed slightly. "Thank you." And with that they made their way down to the great hall. It was decorated with multicolored streamers and enchanted stars that kept shooting across the top of the walls. It was believable since the ceiling only displayed the vast deep blue outside. Everyone was chatting as they waited for McGonagall to commence. It was unusually short , for McGonagall though. "This is the last social gathering in this school you are going to have. We will begin the night with the head boy and girl leading a dance. Thank you." Some students swore they heard a waver in her voice but the brushed it off. The band began a slow, melodious song and James took Lily to the center of the room. She didn't really notice that everyone was shocked at her appearance. She was swimming in James' eyes. She couldn't help it anymore. As the song progress they danced quite closely, but never missing a step, as they talked about dumb things that people talk about when they dance. It's all filler. But sometimes, filler can lead to more important things...  
  
"James, I think you made a nice choice with your robes. I must say, top notch." Lily smiled at him. "You clean up nice yourself. I don't see why you would ever want to get them tailored. They fit you like they were made for you." Lily cocked her head quizzically? "How did you know I wanted to get them tailored?" James gave a sheepish smile. "Well, you remember at Hogsmeade how you walked passed Sirius and Remus and they gave you idiotic smiles? That's because I was tailing you in my invisibility cloak. I just wanted to see what color your robes were honest!" He flinched as she hit him playfully. "You know, I should be more upset. But that was kind of sweet, I guess." The song ended and was followed up by yet another slow song which everyone joined in. "O, I love this song." Lily exclaimed. "Wow, me too." James smiled. They dance in silence as the listened to the lyrics.  
  
I'll drown my beliefs  
To have you be in peace  
I'll dress like you  
To wash your swollen feet  
Just don't leave  
Don't leave  
  
And true love waits  
It haunted all our days  
And true love wins  
On lollipops and hate  
Just don't leave  
Don't leave  
  
I'm not living  
I'm just killing time  
Your tiny hands  
Your crazy kiss and smile  
Just lonely, longing  
Just lonely, longing  
  
Eventually the song ended and a swing song came on. The couples all shifted and rearranged themselves, and some how Lily slipped out of James grasp, and out of site. He asked Shannon and Aiden if they had seen her, but neither had so he went to look for her. Not in the common room, not in the dorms, not in the library. He glimpsed out a window and saw a veela-type figure with flaming hair walking across the grounds. He followed outside and ran to catch up with her. "Lily, wait a bit ay?" James managed between gasps for air. "You weren't having fun?" He was a little hurt, thinking that she would rather be out here alone then with him. "O, well, it's just that, I'm not the type of person who fits with those type of parties and stuff." She was rubbing her arm in a nervous fashion, but James thinking she was cold, took off his robe and put it over her shoulders. He walked with a white dress shirt and slacks. "It's not that I wasn't having fun dancing with you, James. I just don't feel comfortable, is all." She smiled at him reassuringly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and continued across the grounds toward the lake. "If you want to stay out here for a while, we can stay out here." James offered. "I didn't want to ruin your night. You go ahead and hang out with your buddies, dance with some pretty girls." She laughed a little. He stopped her and turned her toward him. "Lily, I thought you had figured it out. I mean, I came out here looking for you because I want to spend time with you. I want to hang out with you. And besides, why would I want to dance with pretty girls when I could dance with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He cupped her cheek and she smiled. She reached up, on her toes and kissed him. It was a long, absorbing kiss. When they broke, James just smiled from ear to ear and bent to kiss her again. After quite some time, they stopped snogging and continued walking; Lily wrapped in James arms, her head on his shoulder. "You know, I'd been waiting for that for seven years." James sighed. "Really? That long huh? Well, I hope it was worth your wait then." She said with a smirk. "Are you kidding me, if you can kiss like that, I could only imagine what you could do-ooh" James never got to finish because he was elbowed in the stomach. As he bent a little she tilted her head and kissed him once more. "Well I'm glad for the compliment, but you're going to have to finish that sentence in your head darling."  
  
  



End file.
